You walk in the door tired from a long day in the office, turn on your computer, and wait for the sweet sound of the AOL dialup tone. It’s 1998 and love is in the air, well, you desperately hope it is as you wait for the mail notification to pop up. Maybe, it’s Joe, or perhaps it’s the guy three doors down in your apartment building that you met in the elevator, you may never know. For many of us, it feels like only yesterday Meg Ryan was poetically wooing Mr. Hanks in “You’ve Got Mail”. Though the world is changing, and you can no longer confidently hide behind an envelope icon. That’s why we’re sharing some tips for online dating after 40.
Dating went from giving someone your digits in a bar, to swiping right on their picture, as if compatibility is only found in how physically attracted you are to a person. For those of us stuck between the two worlds, it can be really intimidating. As we mature (and collect baggage, honey- we all have it), we crave deeper and more personal connections with others. Yet it feels at odds with the modern style of dating which can be quite intimidating.
But online dating isn’t just for younger generations, it’s for all of us, and there are many apps and websites to understand and navigate. This is the new wave of dating and we’re here to help. You may be anxious, or even terrified. It takes courage to put yourself out there after a break up or divorce. Heck, it takes a lot to put yourself out there period! So be proud of yourself for taking the first step.
Here are 5 tips for online dating after 40. Time to get your journey started!
1. You Deserve Love
First and foremost, everyone deserves to find love. And it doesn’t matter how old you are, how many relationships you’ve been in, or how many times you’ve been divorced. You’re right where you’re meant to be. And there’s someone out there for you.
2. Be Yourself
Being authentically you is so important in attracting the right partner. Pretending to be someone else is pretty easy when online dating. You’re in control as you hide behind your mobile device but if you’re truly looking for a connection and lasting relationship, it’s in everyone’s best interest to be honest. Embrace your story and be mindful of how, when, and what you share. This person needs to be worthy of it.
3. Know What You Want
A classic pros and cons list of what you’re looking for in a partner may seem obvious but it helps to write it down. And make sure to highlight your deal breakers. Someone may be hot to trot but if he has five children and five baby mamma’s, that may be not be for you. If you’re trying online dating after 40 chances are you’ve been in a few relationships and know what you don’t want. So now’s the time to make a list of what you do want.
4. Be Present
With that said, as long as the red flags aren’t flying, give the person a chance and be present in the moment. They may be nervous or new to dating. There’s no set way to go about this so just engage and listen. You’ll know if there’s an initial connection.
5. Be Patient
Patience is a virtue, right? Although there are many choices out there the reality is that it may take a while to find that special someone. Or even someone worth going on more than a first date with. It may start to feel like work. It can take time and effort but think of the reward it can bring. And if you need to take a break from it, then take a break. You can always take a breather and try a different app or approach later.
And there you have it! Some tips for online dating after 40. Whether you’re newly single or you’ve been single, when you make the decision to dive into online dating it’ll certainly be an experience. It takes courage, embracing discomfort, and having an open mind. But you don’t know what’s out there until you give it a try.